Total Possibility

Recently, that is, in the last few years, Staples, the paper and office supply company, had an advertising campaign where whenever someone pushed a big red “Easy Button,” office supplies would magically drop from the ceiling.  Whenever I see those commercials, and the big read button, I curl up into a ball and fall on the floor.  Maybe I even cry a little bit.  See, I have a thing for giant red buttons… PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). 

When I was about 12 years old, my Dad got transferred with IBM from our lush, expansive, peaceful, serene, and tranquil farm in Elida, Ohio, to the big bustling city of Dallas- Ft. Worth Texas, where IBM had its education center, and a hub for a big portion of its computer network.

I’ve Been Moved

Routinely, I would go to work with my Dad, and I would either spend hours playing with hole punches and staplers, or he would set me up at a computer where I could enter the world of computer role playing games, like Space Quest, or King’s Quest, which were popular at the time.  World of WarCraft has nothing on King’s Quest III if you ask me.

One of these times, we were in the big mainframe room at one of the centers in Irving, Texas, where the IBM education center was.  This room was expansive- so much so that if you threw a baseball, I doubt you could get it from one side of the room to the other.  OK, I can’t throw a baseball from home plate to first base, but you get the point! 

 This room was filled with huge mainframes, tape machines, terminals, and always had these gigantic air conditioners on keeping the whole place nice and cool.  My dad found me a workstation and I began to solve the puzzle which was King’s Quest IV.  I didn’t like that one because you had to be a girl, unlike the previous couple of King’s Quests, but I was content to play it anyway.

I got into the game, and began to realize that I needed to go to the bathroom.  I waited for as long as I could, and the pain told me that we had a critical situation brewing.  So I went over to my Dad and told him of my dilemma.  He pointed out that the bathrooms were around the corner outside of yonder door (pointing to yonder door).  He told me that when I wanted to get back in, I had to push the button beside the door (which was probably some kind of door bell.)

I had to go to the bathroom so badly that my brain was floating, and some of the instructions that he had given me may have been misinterpreted… so I walked over to the door and saw a button.  All I could remember was to push the button.  The button was large, and red, and had a plastic cover over it… kind of like the kind used to launch nukes in a movie.

I shrugged my shoulders and lifted the plastic cover, and pushed the big red button.  All of sudden, the lights in the big room went off, as did all the computers, as well as the air conditioners, terminals, coffee pots, Ferris wheels etc.  I had pushed the emergency cut off switch for the room.  Not only that room, but three of the buildings it was connected to.

All I remember is my Dad looking up in horror and asking me what I did. 

I still had to go to the bathroom, so my Dad walked me down to the bathroom where I stayed for the next couple of hours.  You would be surprised at how much flushing toilets can entertain you after awhile.

To this day when I see big red buttons, I feel nervous and anxious like I did that day.  Shortly after, IBM issued a memo that family members were not to be in the building.  Luckily, it was a Sunday, so it didn’t disrupt commerce too much, although several guys had to be called in to reboot the buildings I had shut down.  (Dad didn’t get fired by the way, although he came awfully close.)

Whether we mean it or not, choose or not, intend it or not, we have to learn to live with the consequences of our own actions and choices.  As creatures of free will, we are given the ability to make hundreds of big and small choices every day, one choice affecting the next.  In our culture, it is very easy to try and escape the consequences of our own choices.  That is a choice in itself, and eventually, we will have to face up, one way or another, to the choices that we have made.

It is impossible to escape consequences.  We can’t simply wait for things to work themselves out, as inactivity and indecision is itself a choice that we make.  Living with the consequences of our actions can have both positive and negative effects.  However, we are not ever bound and determined by choices we have made in the past.  That is just because we made a choice that got us here, or into a particular situation, or set of circumstances or consequences, doesn’t mean that we have to make those same decisions in the future.

Nor does it mean that we have to be determined by the consequences of other people’s actions.  What it means is that we must take responsibility for every choice we make, both good and bad, active and inactive, and work within the particular outcomes of each choice.

I didn’t mean to push the wrong button that day, but I did.  I had to accept and live with the potential consequences of that action.  I could have either faced them, or run away from them, but either way they would have caught up with me.

It is easy in our culture to try and run from consequences.  We have a lot of means at our disposal for doing that- drugs, alcohol, work, titles, uniforms, relationships.  Using these things to try and hide from consequences will only lead to more dire consequences in the future.  The key here, as I mentioned above, is acceptance.  Accepting what we have done in the past, understanding where it has brought us, and attempting to make better, more educated choices in the future.

There is a reason this is the last “duck,” that we need to put in a row- simply because it is the duck that is the culmination of the other 4 “ducks” that came before it.  If we understand our self worth, if we understand our need and fulfill our ability to love and be loved, if we defend ourselves, and deal with our own inner confusion, the consequences in every area of our life will be good, more or less.  We will be able to handle any consequence that comes along because it is itself the consequence of putting our ducks in a row.

If we don’t put those other 4 “ducks” in a row, we will have other consequences to deal with- being unhealthy- being scattered- never taking responsibility for our actions and trying to correct ourselves and stay on course.

This requires a lot of work to “keep our ducks in a row.”  Constant work, but the consequences of that work, of self examination, of proper love of self and neighbor, will itself lead us into good healthy decisions and consequences.  So what we have to do is to accept where we have been, and use it as a jumping off point for where we would like to be.

Are your ducks in a row?  Do you understand your worth?  Do you love yourself and others?  Can you defend yourself in a proper way?  Where does your inner confusion lie?  Do you accept the fact that you are where you are because of choices you have made?  I know that personally, I have only been putting my ducks in a row in the last couple of years, and it requires a lot of constant work and vigilance.  The consequences are worth it though.